Everytime I see KC Concepcion on TV in her numerous commercials, I get bitter. She is younger than I am and she is already raking in millions. She is also pretty and talented and also the daughter of Sharon Cuneta and sired by Gabby Concepcion.Plus, she has a senator for a stepfather. There is no justice in the universe.
My accomplishments in the past four months, which are worthy of note, are as follows: watched seasons one and two of Grey's Anatomy, read A.S. Byatt's Histories and Stories, reread Jhumpa Lahiri's The Interpreter of Maladies, watched 150 episodes of Naruto, converted Mark Jerold(see my list of Friends) into a Naruto fanatic. drank all of the eight C2 flavors and convinced three people to constantly read my blog.
I realized that my boredom has gone up to critical levels because I no longer find channel surfing on cable TV fun. This is very unusual for someone who was raised by TV.
An aunt of mine is handing me her weekly subscription of TIME magazine, which I would finish in two to three hours. In TIME, I have read stories about how a young Indian man became a super tycoon by the age of thirty, how the inventors of YouTube became billionaires after Google bought the rights and how ordinary people became famous because of MySpace, Yahoo and YouTube.
Stories of success can be toxic to an unemployed, bored and penniless person. I have had mini-breakdowns, spells of depression and moments of self-pity and called, Janice, countless times at her office and complained about the world's indifference to my wants and desires.
Kates, has also sent me SMS's containing constant admonitions to stop,Stop,STOP!, whining and be productive, proactive and positive.Right.
In my quest for employment, I only managed to submit my resume to the Court of Appeals-Mindanao and to a local call center. The CA thing went nowhere, but, with much gloating, I got the top score in the exam given by the call center - that's according to Janice's friend who is in the HR. I charmed and deceived my way through the initial, second and final interviews and am now fervently hoping that they would call me.
My friends have also contributed to the gradual diminution of my self-worth. Ritchie, my evil roommate at UP-Diliman, is now hobnobbing with the Court of Appeals-Cebu justices. Kates, is earning bazillions at Convergys in Makati. Joyce, has just finished waving placards in front of the site for the ASEAN summit and will soon work for an NGO dedicated to the urban poor. The Boholana socialite, Kathy,is processing the development plans of the family-owned Mahaba Islet,which is listed in the Department of Tourism's website as one of the must-see places in Bohol, with the DENR. She is also boasting that her mango trees will bear fruit soon.
There are so many things happening to the people I know and to the rest of the world. I feel like I'm in between existence and non-existence. That, I am in another dimension, all alone and just receiving dispatches from this world.
I now know why Sauron desperately wanted the One Ring back, because with it, he can escape the shadow world and be fully alive again. I, on the other hand, must find a way to be KC Concepcion.
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